Princess Leia's Theme

Back in 1977, lo these many years ago, I bought a read an article in a Star Wars fanzine that lamented the plethora of off-shoot poorly-created fan work.  I don't recall much about the article - heck, maybe it was just a letter from a reader.  But I do recall that the writer bemoaned that "it won't be long before someone writes the words to Princess Leia's Theme."

And I thought, why the hell not?  And proceeded to do just that.

I'm going to share that with you, but don't get your hopes up - I mean, this is a 40-year old poem written by a 15-year-old boy pretending to understand a Princess' pov.  But first, a brief rant.

Why would anyone feel the need to put down fan endeavors?  It seems that this attitude has been around forever.  I applaud those I see speaking up against it lately - back then, it was all too easy to give up.  I shared this bit of doggerel with my best friend and then hid it.  I shared it with my wife and then hid it.  I don't even recall if I've shared it with my children yet.  Even now, I've no idea if I have the the right to presume.

But I'm sharing it anyway.  Because, if for no other reason, it's the only tribute I have for Carrie Fisher.  It's the only thank-you I have for other brave creators out there.  Nobody has to like it.  But I'm not sorry I wrote it.  I'm only sorry I didn't share it sooner.

Leia

When life is lost

By someone who's near

It hurts so much;

The price is too dear.

I must forget,

So painful to do.

I don't want to love,

Yet I want to love you.

We must go on,

Keep fighting or die.

Lives will be lost.

It won't help to cry.

There won't be time

For love 'till we're through

But if I could love

Then I would love you.

I'll raise my head.

I won't let them know

What a Princess feels.

Those feelings can't show.

I've built my walls.

I can't let you through.

I wish I could love

So I could  love you.

(you know, to the best of my knowledge, no one else ever wrote lyrics.  if they did, those are probably better.  if anyone wants to record these, though, i'd love to hear it)

(Oh, yeah... copyright John L. Payton)

Top 30 Pedlarisms

While grating cheese for tonight's pizza meal, my hand slipped and I nearly included some knuckle-skin with the mozzarella.  This got me to thinking about the Pedlarisms, which have not crossed my mind in years.

Our 2001 production of Apology for a Pedlar was, as far as I know, the last stage production of Rodney Whitaker's thesis work.  Whitaker went on to publish several best-sellers under the pen name Trevanian, but Pedlar he published as Nicholas Seare.  I loved this book in college, and when we got the chance to put it on stage I jumped for it.  Robin directed, even though I was originally slated for that job, because we needed more men on stage than we had, and I hate the idea of directing and acting at the same time.

Our Pedlar had some trouble with the lines, which was rather unfortunate considering that the character is primarily described as a wordsmith.  His words are supposed to roll trippingly from the tongue, but often he'd trip over them instead.

In spite of the obstacles, and a few sour memories, I'd love to do this show again.  I think that my agreement with Whitaker would allow it.

My good friend Gus, who played Rapin (the seneschal of the castle) compiled the following list of verbal blunders, which I now share with you.

Friends,

Here is, I think, the final list of Pedlarism from the 2001 production of
"Apology for a Pedlar." While some of these were deliberate screw-ups
committed during the brush-up rehearsal (a hallmark tradition of Act II),
most were entirely unintentional.

Very few of these made it to production, just enough to add a special taste
of fear to each night's performance.

Let me know if you think I should cc Trevanian - or even Act II - on this.
I'm sorely tempted on both counts.

And now, the top 30 Pedlarisms of 2001:

30. (Pedlar) "You're, like, some old bone croasting about a chastity belt"

29. (Thane) "I'll even throw in the peasant girl...for free"

28. (Thane) "...I'll sign the place right over to you..." (Then Rapin) "Piss off!"

27. (Pedlar) "Pray all abjure of pishing"

26. (Rapin) "To beat this rascal from the castle" "...with the pestle from the vessel...or the flagon with the dragon..."  "who has the next line?"
 
25. (Pedlar) "Thanks for the memories"

24. (Rapin) "Book 'im Festrel"

23. (Rapin) "I am sorry I heartily offended thee and I..."

22. (Pedlar) "Do you really want this cr-crep-crapusc-carpulent...What the hell does that mean, anyway?"

21. (Pedlar) "There's a girl upstairs, if you're of that inclination."

20. (Pedlar) "Don't get me wrong. I kinda admire you stickin' to your principles like that."

19. (Thane) "That doesn't prevent his name from being Eon."

18. (Thane) "I think you're cracked as a hooer's hymen."

17. (Thane) "It's praying and breastfeeding for me."

16. (Thane) "the sauce of our sadness...the cause of our lamentatious ah-nit-alls..."

15. (Pedlar) "Not diseased, madam, but...sick....to be sure..."

14. (several cast) "Uh...yeah...OK...whatever...."

13. (Pedlar) "And he, having waddled through life with careless steps..."

12. (Pedar) "It's no good leaving more nipple-skin on that greedy door."

11. (Pedlar) "I shall sing to lighten the spirits that have been amused within these walls."

10. (Pedlar) "Unclattered fools!"

9. (Kipance) "'Tis a difficult leader for a peasant step to take..."

8. (Mistress) "Now see here, Pedlar...er...you're a minstrel, aren't you?"

7. (Kipance) "Make sure the sword with which I am blunted is well-knighted."

6. (Pedlar) "Even now the clap is reaching the rim of the midnight bell."

5. (Pedlar) "We won't tribble over quifles." "No, wait...We won't...tribble over quifles."
 
4. (Pedlar) "The burden of the frau is upon us."

3. (Pedlar) "Wipe the furrowed ashes from your brows!"

2. (Pedlar) "I piddle and spin....diddle and spit...oh, damn..."

And the number one Pedlarism of 2001 is still:

1. (Pedlar) "Rapists will demand precedence over his diddler."