Wednesday, January 7, 2026

My Dad was a Cop

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While corresponding with a remote friend, this subject came up: 
 
>>   (sorry, my dad was a cop, and these things kind of rub off) 
> Updated, and that is super interesting. I bet that must have been quite interesting, and also nervy at times with your dad being a cop. I bet you heard loads of fascinating stories.

I tried to think of interesting and harrowing stories, but couldn't.  I was a kid, and not thinking about it, plus he faced far fewer dangers in our relatively small town.  It mostly affected my life by teaching me how to be quiet, as he worked graveyard for quite a while.  Also, he drank too much while he had that job.  I suspect that there were a few issues he tried (and failed) to keep from the rest of the family.
 
I do have one story, though.  It was about his first "arrest."  He was sent to respond to reports of a piglet which had escaped its farm enclosure and was seen wandering around the town square.  He had a picture framed, which he called "Pig arrests pig"  (the local paper didn't use that headline).  He had a watch with a revisionist message:  "Pride, Integrity, Guts" -- sort of an attempt to "own" the term.  Later, he quit the force because he was passed over for a promotion that he felt he deserved.  
 
John Lee Payton, Sr.

His Missouri accent was stronger than mine, and sounded a bit more southern.  I think he tried to look like Dean Martin and sound like Andy Griffith.

He was a strict father and discouraged "feelings," which served to estrange his artistic son and discourage questions about his day.  I inherited his temper, which threatened to do the same with my family.  I hope it did not.

Saturday, November 8, 2025

The Sardine Shop

I'll be 100% honest - I don't really know this book's target audience.  It's quirky, and has heavy religious themes.  However, I am still proud of the voice work I did on it.


 Donald’s Sardine Shop—which was active in the old town of Celer, during the time of Joseph Walker and Sheriff Adrien Baker—existed primarily for the sale of good sardines, but it also inhabited a maniac hidden in plain sight. A lifetime among fish, cut off from human contact, had slowly and eerily worked Donald down into madness; to the point where the voices taking hold of his brain began prompting him to do things unspeakably vile. His life as a store owner—and psychopathic crackpot—is hereby recorded in intimate detail; for the purpose of informing future sardine shop customers of the underlying danger lurking behind those shop doors. ‘The Sardine Shop’, the new novella by Rob Ryan—author of ‘Erland’, ‘Clementine’ and ‘The Kallors’—is available now on Amazon.


Wednesday, September 17, 2025

Earth 856: A Kaiju Task Force Story

 This is my sixth audiobook, but Audible shows it as my fifth because for some reason "The House on the Bend" was removed.  I gave this one the full radio-play treatment, with music, backgrounds, and sound effects.  BIG shout-out to the Pixabay free sound community.  


Earth 856: A Kaiju Task Force Story

Kaiju Task Force, Season One, Book 4


Vance Hadrian has led his research team through a rift at the bottom of the ocean-a shimmering, unnatural doorway between worlds. On the other side lies Earth 856, a savage mirror of our own. Vance says they're here for answers. But the truth runs darker than his crew suspects. He's haunted-by the day Kaiju emerged, by the destruction they left behind, and by the terrifying potential they revealed. Vance doesn't want answers-he wants to control them. To bend one of these living weapons to his will.


Saturday, August 2, 2025

The Dungeon & the Labyrinth Audiobook by Rob Horner

My fifth narration is now live!

I learn something new with each book I finish.  I  mean, apart from the fact that I don't like my own voice that much; I learned that long ago.

This one is my best work to date.  

Ten strangers wake up to find themselves unwitting contestants in a new reality show, The Dungeon. The rules are simple: if they can make it to the end, they will live. The world is watching. Timed kill rooms, traps, wild animals, and a new breed of human monstrosity are all bent on making this game as difficult as possible. Can they come together and work as a team? Or will they fall to the perils within these halls?

Tune in to the inaugural episode of The Dungeon to find out! (Check your local listings for availability.) (All bets must be placed within the first 5 minutes of each episode, except where not allowed by law.)


The Dungeon & the Labyrinth Audiobook by Rob Horner

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Review: The Headphones

The Headphones The Headphones by Steve McElhenny
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Reminded me quite a bit of series such as Twilight Zone, or Monsters. A misanthrope, who has never known happiness, attempts to use a magical artifact that reminds people of their happiest time.

I've read a lot of McElhenny's work - he comes up with unique ideas and tributes to the entertainment of earlier days. Sometimes I think that he's too optimistic for horror -- where Steve King would allow his characters to spiral into misery and eternal damnation, Steve McElhenny gives them an escape to redemption.

The narrator was talented - all characters were distinct and separate, all voices well-done, and the overall mood appropriate - but the way he used accents made me question exactly where the book was supposed to be set.

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Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Review: The Mysterious Case of the Alperton Angels

The Mysterious Case of the Alperton Angels The Mysterious Case of the Alperton Angels by Janice Hallett
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

An annoying format for a story. Only at the very end does the reader learn why they're reading case files, and I suppose it makes sense, but it didn't make it any less annoying. Were it not for the fact that this was selected by the local mystery book club, I would not have finished the book.

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Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Review: Mockingbird

Mockingbird Mockingbird by Steve McElhenny
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

McElhenney has a unique style; his humor shines through even when he's writing horror. Always entertaining, and always with an optimistic view of humanity - even as he parodies our foibles.

Alan Aldersley-Byrne is a talented reader. He conveys the mood of the piece well, keeps all the character voices distinguishable, and has taught me a few things about UK accents. I would love to workshop with this guy.



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